tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3844059599509794412024-02-21T02:52:37.345-08:00Breath's ImpasseJ Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-51033461820254321742012-11-03T00:53:00.001-07:002013-07-29T09:15:49.105-07:00Those Glourious Summits<span xmlns=""></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I have been thinking about legacies.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Now when I say "legacy" I mean what defines a person once they're gone; a "legacy" as what a person is known by future generations for. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I have been reading "In the Shadow of Denali" by mountaineer/photographer/adventurer Jonathan Waterman. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In his book, Jon Waterman explores several different accounts of people's encounters with North America's highest peak, 20,320 ft. Mt. McKinley (a.k.a. "Denali" native Athabaskan meaning "the High One"). He explores stories of triumph, controversy, and misfortune that transpire on or in the (symbolic) shadow of Alaska's Denali.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Denali (20,320') aka Mt. McKinley</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">All in all, "In the Shadow of Denali" is an interesting read, but walking away from the book, one story stuck with me; this particular story has to do with a young and ambitious climber by the name of John Mallon Waterman (not the author JON Waterman). Johnny grew up in Connecticut, as a young child he was fascinated with leaning about the Civil War, but by the time Johnny Waterman graduated high-school he had fallen in love with climbing. His entire world, friends, family, and ambition were wrapped up in climbing and mountaineering.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Johnny climbed worldwide in places like Turkey, Greece, the Alps, etc. In the process, completing many climbs up world-famous routes. However, by the time he graduated he had also lost a great many friends in the mountains including his closest climbing partner.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The demise of the near-entirety of his social circle in addition to his parents going through a turbulent divorce rattled the young climber. He began whittling the large number of his expeditions to solo adventures. The more friends he lost, (including his brother Bill), the more he bent his will, energy, and focus to the mountains. After the pain of so much death and estrangement with his divorced parents, Johnny engaged in many solo forays, including a vastly difficult and technical ascent of the South Spur of Alaska's 14,700' Mount Hunter which took him 145 days to finish (completely alone for the duration). This feat has been immortalized today as one of those legendary ascents by a legendary figure.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mt. Hunter's oft-traveled West Ridge</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">After years of numerous mountaineering accomplishments, bizarre friendships, years estranged from his father and stepmother, Waterman began to degrade further. He eventually became obsessed with accomplishing winter solo ascent of Denali. After a few weeks of being thwarted in the ascent of his intended route, something broke in Waterman. One day he left a letter in his tent and struck-out for an unclimbed ridge on Denali. This particular ridge was dubbed as "a suicide run" by Reinhold Messner (perhaps the world's best and most innovative climber of all time). It was clear to Johnny Waterman's father, Guy Waterman, that his son had set off not intending to come back. He left his supplies, and set out on a difficult route none could truly conquer. A heavy past and declining career proved too much for the young climber to bear, leaving Johnny without hope or reason to continue.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The Author, JON Waterman happened to be friends with Guy Waterman, JOHNNY Waterman's estranged father. Some sixteen years after the disappearance of Johnny, Jon set out into the Vermont woods to visit the hermit like abode of Guy Waterman and his second wife:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i> "During a recent visit – I lost the path to the Waterman's rural property. I thought about Johnny a lot that day. I thought that few people indeed can afford to commit themselves irrevocably to their dreams, and I admired him deeply for that. Like Icarus, Johnny had cut off all the moorings to his loved ones and flew into the alluring white heat of the sun. <br /> I didn't find Guy until twilight, tending his garden a hundred yards off, under the light of a lantern. When I shouted 'Hello!' he ran towards me clutching the lantern, with ecstasy and surprise shining with childlike joy on his face. When his saffron light finally fell on my face, he was plainly crestfallen, even though it had been years since he had seen me.<br /> The next morning, Guy paused in front of a woodpile. He looked into my eyes; he tried to smile. Then he apologized about the way he had greeted me the night before. He explained that once in a while he will greet an unidentified visitor out in the dark and think that maybe for just a scant moment that maybe, just maybe, one of his sons has finally come home."</i></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i> </i></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>- Jonathan Waterman, 'Lone Wolf (the </i>Other<i> John Waterman),' </i>from<i> "In the Shadow of </i></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i> Denali"</i></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> I suppose what strikes me the most is that at the end of all of Johnny Waterman's feats of skill, endurance, and suffering, his life seemed to amount to naught. He had no one to celebrate with, his friends perished in pursuit of those glourious summits, and He, himself, lost his life, having given up.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sure, Johnny had left a Legacy. He is remembered. Jon Krakauer, a famous mountaineer, and author of <i>Into Thin Air</i> and <i>Into the Wild</i>, recounts Johnny Waterman's feats of endurance as well as his profound loneliness and ability to cut all familial ties to achieve something great. Based on these similar characteristics, Krakauer even likens Johnny Waterman to Christopher McCandless, the subject of <i>Into the Wild</i>. Krakauer held Waterman's 145 day solo of Mount Hunter as one of the most prolific feats of Alaskan mountaineering.<br />Yet despite this great feat, and stunning career, all John had left at his end was his accomplishment. In the cold shadow of loneliness, those accomplishments paled in fear, as they were poor insulation from the frozen teeth of despair. In the wake of Johnny's ultimate journey, Johnny's father, (his only surviving family), was a wistful man who wanted no more than his son to come home.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There is a mindset upon mountaineers and outdoors people. This mindset is one of disdain for the civilized world, and it's a mood that treats the Climb as a transcendent experience. The Climb becomes what one lives for, works to pay for, and trains to be better at. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">When I first began immersing myself in the world of mountains, I wholeheartedly adopted this mindset. I (at least attempted) adopted the new persona, for no other reason than my desire to identify with my own newfound world. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I was fully content to go on my merry way, the surly mountaineer whose sole solace was the hills.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I began my biggest trip in the summer of 2011. I set out with my ethics professor, Terry, and his daughter, Allison on the John Muir Trail. The John Muir Trail (JMT) is a 211 mile trail through the Sierra Nevada mountains. The trail begins in the exquisite Yosemite Valley, up through Tuolomne Meadows, south through Yosemite National Park, John Muir Wilderness, Ansel Adams Wilderness, Devil's Post-pile National Monument, Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Park, following the very spine of the range to the Mount Whitney, at 14,505 ft, the highest peak in the continental United States. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">My trip on the John Muir Trail remains one of the best experiences of my life due to the intense challenge and scintillating victories I experienced along its length. One of these victories was a lesson I learned on an unexpected (and very lonely) detour.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I was around day 14 of 18 into my trip. Unfortunately, my two companions had to tap out earlier in the trip because of an untimely sickness, and I had been hiking with people I had met on the trail. We had hiked through two days of rain and climbed two of major passes on our way south to Whitney. We had just topped out Mather Pass, below which there was a basin leading to 14,058 foot Split Mountain that I had wanted to summit as a side trip, plus I would be able to get cell reception from Split's summit. Therefore, I parted ways with members of my impromptu trail-family below the Pass and struck out across a glacial bowl toward Split's twin summits.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Crossing the bowl marked the first time that I was majorly alone. Even in the mountains along seldom-traveled trails there is a chance you will see someone. I was moving cross-country in the Sierra. The loneliness and homesickness that I was able to bury in the midst of fellowship and tedium reared its head. I questioned my motives for pursuing a side-summit. I began to worry about the possibility of something happening to me. I lambasted myself for my decision to try to climb this summit as I gained a saddle below Split Mountain and saw the very broad and very steep talus field leading to Split's north summit. Exhausted and despondent I began to ask myself why I was doing this. I wanted to keep going. I <i>needed</i> to keep going. Something would not let me stop. Between the loneliness, exertion, and vastness of the task before me I was torn and burnt out.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I did what any reasonable person would do: I sat down and I cried, the weight of stress and difficulty unseen came pouring out.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I realized my decision to try this summit was one originally based out of desire to conquer, or to adopt further the anti-social mountain man persona. I needed to live up to that which I said I would do. I needed to become a certain person.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But why?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I then realized that the reason I needed this accomplishment was due to the fact that I needed to appear a certain way to <i>people</i>. That my seemingly selfish and self-centered pursuit was orchestrated because I loved who it made me become. I was someone better who was better for other people, adored by other people, and inspire other people to greater things. There was a deep part of myself that wanted to be different than other so that I would have value in their eyes, and just as deeply, I needed to affect people.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I needed to matter.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Now the mountaineering was more selfish than not, but I realized then that people are inextricable from their social context. Greatness comes not from the brilliance of an individual alone, but a light which shines brighter in some places than others. I also realized that light is not meant to shine, simply for shining's sake, but to shed light in others darkness.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Thinking about this, I wonder about Johnny Waterman. He was a product of tragic and difficult circumstance, but in the end I ask "What did his legacy amount to?" What legacy and feat is so great that it will always be remembered and never be duplicated? Time is long and our memories are short. Will time and generations reaching into far millennia really remember the deeds of today? Will they remember one lonely individual toiling up a long and snow-crenellated mountain ridge?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I ask, "What did Guy Waterman, Johnny's father remember?" In the end he just wanted his son.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In this, I identified with Johnny Waterman's tragic tale. Where the people in his life vanished from and disappointed him; he turned to carve his name with stone in the pages of time. I realized the greatest legacy is not a name attached to a deed that is remembered all the days. The greatest legacy is the people we have contact with in the every-day. Those people we pray with and people we play with. Those people we bless and those people we curse. Our legacy is the families we leave behind to do their own deeds. What renown outlives a bloodline that endures the generations? What deed outlives an incarnate legacy that may forget a name, but everyday lives out the choices of his or her forebears?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Now, I think pushing ones limits and pursuing goals is a good and healthy thing. Yet there are too many stories of passionate souls given over to the love of sport and danger. There are too many stories of people who have died in pursuit of legacies wrought of folly and misguided zeal. Now I suppose there is truly some benefit to being great, but I fear becoming like those willing to sacrifice relationships or even one's own life.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What goal, pursued in the name of vibrant life, is worth attaining even if that very life is lost in the process?</span></span></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rather in the midst of Johnny Waterman's journey, and reflecting on my own, I think that I will decide to choose a long life. I think it to be sad irony to cut ties from my family and friends, set on consuming myself within the heat of the sun. To seek brief, and brilliant greatness that will be a speck totally lost in the overwhelming light of the sun. Rather I will live on in the light of day, flying high only when it is to lead others to a place where they can better see the grandiose world beneath.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="background-color: yellow;"><br /> </span></span></span>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-81691420097512380212012-10-17T21:03:00.000-07:002012-10-17T21:03:00.599-07:00I Want To Go Home<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">John 15:1-5:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup><span>1 </span></sup><span>"I am the true vine, and my Father is the
vinedresser. <sup>2 </sup>Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes
away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more
fruit. <sup>3</sup> Already you are clean because of the word that I have
spoken to you. <sup>4</sup> Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot
bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you
abide in me. </span><sup><span>5</span></sup><span> I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides
in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can
do nothing.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Reflection:</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><br />
I suppose that I feel like the relapsed Prodigal Son (for the 1,767<sup>th</sup>
time, this year that is). I have a great father, yet I’ve squandered my
inheritance only to find myself spiritually bankrupt, alone, and fearful in a
far-off city.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Lately, I have felt fearful
and distant. I began with a wealth of life and spirit from God, yet out of my
fear of being worthless, unlovely, and undesirable I began turning my gifts into
a means of getting approval. Instead of doing ministry with Christ as the end,
and affirmation and approval as a happy perk. Somewhere along the way, there
was a disconnect and I had reversed the two.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Now I have been finding that
my world has been coming undone at every criticism aimed at me. I have become
unspeakably upset every time one of my actions has resulted in a decrease of
someone’s opinion. I fear outliving bright and vibrant life, being left alone;
being left useless, ugly, and detestable to the world.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>I fear being unwanted,
worthless.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Yet in the midst of my fear
and confusion, God gives me this scripture, in John 15, to dwell on. This
scripture sticks out to me. Christ demands that I “Abide in him,” that “I can
do nothing apart from him.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>I have been learning this
last point the hard way. “I can do nothing apart from him.” I have been learning
that the more I abuse God’s gifts to fuel my voracious appetite for love and
approval, the more I realize I do so to quench my fears, and I also realize
that those fears are absolutely <i>insatiable</i> outside of God. Ironically
so, I feel these fears growing all the more and I feel myself put even more
distance between my Savior and I. The more I try to fix my problem the wrong
way, the more unlovely and worthless I feel, and I thwart the mission of the
Kingdom of God through my life.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>“I can do nothing apart from
him.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>I am beginning to realize
that my trying to fix myself has been a weak and misguided attempt to make the
pain go away. It’s as if I have been bleeding to death, yet all I’ve managed to
do is take painkillers, but painkillers don’t stop the bleeding, killing my
pain is treating the core problem.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>But, how do I get fixed? How
do I let Christ work in me?</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Perhaps the most profound
portion of John 15 is the portion that is the most repetitive. It also reveals
itself to be the most needed portion of this Scripture, and it is, in fact, the
only command that Christ gives in this passage: </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>“Abide in me.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>The phrase “abide” is
peculiar and it paints a profound portrait. It means “live in,” or “indwell.”
This is a concept made even more important in light of the time of Christ. One
would abide in their home. Your home was the locus of your existence, the
center. Home was where your day was began by going out from, where your day
ended in coming back to, or your day was spent maintaining. Your home was where
the people you loved dwelt. It was a safe place a haven of rest. Home was a
reassurance. You knew that you would be okay because you were at home, or could
return home.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Your home was the center of
your universe. Even with the metaphor of a vine, a branch abides in the vine as
the branch’s source, as the branch is supported by the vine and the branch was
a conduit of fruitfulness by means of the vine.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Your home was your default.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>You abide in your home.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>In the Greek, this command is
in the Present-Tense, and Active-Voice. Present meaning this indwelling is an
ongoing effort. Active indicates that it is an active effort on the behalf of
Jesus followers.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Jesus commands me to Abide in
him. Therefore, Christ is my source, my days should begin by going out from
Christ. My days should end in coming back to Christ and my days should be spent
maintaining my relationship with Christ. It is an active effort and it never
ends. Christ is my Home. Christ is the goal of my striving. Christ is my every-day.
Christ is my all. Christ is my universe.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>I can do nothing apart from
Christ, I must abide in Christ.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>“God help me fall more in
love with as I make you the center of my universe. I am so afraid of being left
alone and being worthless, yet I have forgotten that your Son died for me, and
if the Son of God saw fit to die for me, that means that I <i>must </i>be worth
<i>something</i>. I have forgotten that you are my source. I cannot fix myself.
I cannot fix my fears. I need you. Forgive for pushing you out of the picture
for so long, and forgive me for perverting a beautiful and good thing into a
selfish and empty attempt for self glorification.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>“Help me be okay with people
despising me, for your Son was perfect and he was reviled.”</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>“Help me realize that even if
my world falls apart and the Wicked fiddle on the brink of Armageddon, that in
Christ, I will be okay.”</span></span></span></div>
J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-64793371484207596672012-08-17T18:30:00.002-07:002012-08-17T18:30:40.169-07:00HopeI desperately need to publish my thoughts, not out of any societal need for my thoughts, but for my own sanity. Yet, I find that words, though powerful, no mere speech can express the breadth of turmoil and wonder going on in my head and my heart. The thinness of a written account seems bitterly profane to any persons thought. Words, when given in truth signify realities, allowing someone to possibly understand a reality never experienced prior. Yet reality seems so rich that words are a pitiful offering.<br /><br />I apologize for the exalted langauge, but I can't bring myself to try and be concise, nor colloquial.<br /><br />I cant but help feeling a little exalted when letting myself get lost a beautiful melody, or emotionally captured in the rapture of song. I have been losing the galaxies of my thought in the midst of a pitiful attempt to comprehend the cosmological gyre I behold in the night sky. I am finding my mind and thought carried by every breeze of reality and experience no matter how sweet, or how bitter.<br /><br />I have almost been hedonistic in my thought of late, but I have been experiencing a peculiar dosage of reality. I find myself in the sweet pain of rejection and the present rapture of happiness, I find myself in both good and bad circumstance praising some (un)known higher power. I have recently been most miserable when I feel that I no longer have some hope. Hope is some thing that I can take solace in knowing will come, or in something I know will be accomplished in light of present misery, apathy, or even hapless happiness.<br /><br />I have realized that hope has given me security in my times of joy, and has given me a brilliant doorway out of crushing darkness. We all hope in things. Some hope in stuff, some merely hope they will be happy. Some hope in sex, drugs, money... All hope for love, acceptance, affirmation.<br /><br />Personally, I hope in beauty, that in appreciating beauty and helping others see beauty, that I, in-turn, will become beautiful, and people will want me and appreciate and need me as I want, appreciate and need beauty.<br /><br />Yet I have been asking myself lately, why do I hope in what I hope in? Why do all people need to hope?<br /><br />It seems to me that this hope is in many ways a hope in something greater than the individual and greater even than the corporate. Hope is something that we must deposit in something greater than our enemies, greater than our hurts, greater than our darkness, and even greater than our own weakness.<br /><br />I hope that it is no secret that I believe in God. Yet, I have seriosuly been evaluating why I believe in God. The more I study, the more I realize that the debate is not closed on the existence of God. I would daresay that it will never be closed (unless there is a God who reveals themself some day).<br /><br />I have been finding that there is always room and reason to believe for one and against one (I suppose that it comes down to why people believe what they believe [i.e. why you want or need to believe in something]).<br /><br />A walk with God is not easy. <br />A walk with God surrounded by people who don't believe and assume there is no God is tough.<br /><br />I have been going back and forth with this for months now.Yet the one thing that keeps me believing, the one thing that keeps me going is that people are very small.<br /><br />In terms of egregious over-simplification, we are either a greatly treasured creation of a deity, or hopelessly small in a universe of titanic power and flux. Anyway that one may look at it humans are tiny, yet we try to reduce such a dynamic universe and categorize human lives and experience with such crispness, precision, and presumption that no matter how true or beneficial scientific observation or religious pontification may be, it would be arrogant for humanity to say that we can fully master and or understand this great story of what is. We can hardly understand such small phenomena as human consciousness, felt needs, and (you guessed it) our need to hope.<br /><br />In the midst of our smallness, I see at least one reason why we have such a need for something larger. I suppose part of the reason that I hope in God is that I need to hope in soemthing greater than myself and greater than all. What is greater than my circumstance than the creator of what is? If I am going to believe in somethign bigger than me, I going to believe in the biggest one of all, plus, He wont let me go, He keeps giving reasons to believe.J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-47464939579390071642012-04-19T14:56:00.001-07:002012-04-19T15:02:02.462-07:00The Name of God<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span xmlns="">I am absolutely blown away by the Old Testament. Well, I am blown away AGAIN. It seems to happen a lot.<br />
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I think that it is interesting that we call God, 'God.' It seems that the term 'God' is so general. In the Hebrew he is referred to as elohim (<i>ĕ·lō·hīm</i>) which is a general word meaning 'god' (sometimes the God of the bible and sometimes referring to plural 'gods'). But in Exodus 3, God gives his fledgling people a name to call him by (the relatively well-known Moses-and-the-burning-bush passage).<br />
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I briefly want to give a little background on what happens before Exodus 3. In Exodus 3, an angel of God manifests as a burning bush to call Moses to deliver the Hebrews from oppression in Egypt.<br />
<br />Now, Moses was originally born a Hebrew slave in Egypt. The Hebrews were suffering in their slavery, working themselves to the bone every day under the sun. The reason they are slaves in Egypt, is because the Hebrews were multiplying in great numbers while living in Egypt, and the Egyptians saw this and were afraid of the Hebrews getting too strong. So the Egyptians had put them to work and even resorted to killing newborn Hebrew males so they would cease growing in number (Ex. 1:9-22).<br />
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Yet it says that God heard the cries of the Hebrews in their misery and suffering; and he remembered the promises he made to the Hebrews forefathers; Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (a.k.a. Israel) and he remembered the covenant (a very binding and personal contract/promise) he made with them (Ex. 2:23-25).<br />
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Now this where Moses comes in, he was born a Hebrew in slavery during the time when Pharaoh was killing off the Hebrew infant boys, and his mother sent him down a river to save his life and his basket came up near the Pharaoh's palace. Here Pharaoh's daughter found the baby Moses and had compassion on lil' Moses.<br />
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Long-story short, Moses was allowed to stay in the Egyptian palace and be raised as a member of the Egyptian royal family. Yet one day when he was grown up he went out one day and say an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of Moses own people. Overcome with rage, Moses killed the Egyptian and hid the body. The next day he tried to break up a fight between two Hebrews and in their frustration they snapped at Moses revealing that they knew he had killed an Egyptian. Moses was afraid so he ran away and eventually came to Midian were, after an interesting recourse with some sheep, camels, a well, and rude herders; he fell in with Jethro of Midian, and he even got married to one of Jethro's daughters, Zipporah.<br />
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Now that we know what Moses has been through, In Exodus 3 He is out tending Jethro's flocks when he sees the burning bush, now, of course like any man would, he see's something on fire and he goes closer to it than he should. The only thing is that this time it's different. It turns out that the bush is God, "the god of Abraham, of Isaac, and the god of Jacob" (Ex. 3:6). In this theophany (an earthly manifestation of God) God calls to Moses to go to Egypt and vie for the Hebrews by Gods power and deliver the Hebrews from their oppressive captivity.<br />
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In the midst of this, Moses asks God:<br />
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<i><sup>13 </sup>Then Moses said to God, "If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what shall I say to them?" <sup>14 </sup>God said to Moses, "I am who I am." And he said, "Say this to the people of Israel, 'I am has sent me to you.'" <sup>15 </sup>God also said to Moses, "Say this to the people of Israel, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations.</i> – Ex. 3:13-15 <i>ESV</i></div>
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What amazes me here is the name God gives himself. In verse 14 God says (transliterated Hebrew) "'eh'yeh 'eṣ'er 'eh'yeh" (<i>ĕh-yĕh ĕṣh-ĕr ĕh-yĕh</i>) which this translates "I am who I am." Based on the Hebrew here, this phrase is better translated "I will be who I will be." Then he says "Tell them the I AM /I WILL BE has sent you" again we have "'eh'yeh," then in verse 15 we see God restating his name he gives the name "The L<span style="font-size: 8pt;">ORD</span>" which isn't actually translated "lord" but the proper name of God given throughout the Old Testament which German scholars translate as "Jehovah" (transliterated: y<span style="font-size: 8pt;">e</span>hwah) but more recent scholarship is revealed to be better translated "Yahweh".<br />
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Now I know this is a little tedious and technical, but bear with me. What is interesting is the play on words, God gives the extensive description of "I will be who I will be" first, and then the shortened "I will be," and then "Yahweh" ["the L<span style="font-size: 8pt;">ORD</span>"]. But when you look at the transliterated forms (transliteration is changing from the Hebrew letters to English letters) we have "'eh'yeh 'eṣ'er 'eh'yeh" then "'eh'yeh," and then "y<span style="font-size: 8pt;">e</span>hwah." What we see here is classic Hebrew word-play. I know this sounds weird but read those three phrases aloud and hear the similarities.<br />
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The name of god is Yahweh (I have heard it defined as "self-existent" or "self-propagating one") and he will be who he will be.<br />
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In our culture I think that we miss a lot of valuable understanding regarding names. "Jesus" means 'Yahweh is salvation;' he is also called "Immanuel" which means 'god is with us.' In the Ancient Near East (the stretch of land between modern-day Egypt and Iran) names defined who one was and was who they were. Now, we view people as human beings (an individual in a body) and this person is named to identify them from other people. This person is defined by what they are and not what they do. Now a name doesn't mean that much.<br />
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In the time of Moses you were the sum of what you did, how you functioned and your name is part of who you were. This is called embodiment.<br />
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Just an example of the difference in thought: I want to ask you "What is 'kindness.'" Most people would define kindness as courtesy, sharing, etc. A Hebrew would point out a person they knew to be kind as an example "Good Guy Greg is kindness." This person embodied kindness. This person lived kindly.<br />
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Who people were in Moses time was what their name was, their history, who they had been in the past; and when Yahweh gets involved, who they will become.<br />
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Now it is time to do a little Theology (theology simply means "words about God" [<i>theo – </i>"god,"<i> –logy </i>"words"]). What can we learn from Yahweh's name? When we look at "I will be what I will be" it shows:<br />
<ol>
<li>His ability to do (God has the <b><i>power</i></b> to be what he will be)</li>
<li>His ability to decide (God can <b><i>make the choice</i></b> to be what he will be)</li>
<li>His self-existence (This is tricky: Because God has the <b><i>power to be</i></b>, and <b><i>decides to be</i></b>, he himself <b><i>is</i></b>) </li>
<li>His holiness (Since he didn't need anyone to make him, <b><i>there is no other like him</i></b>)</li>
<li>His sovereignty (Because God has <b><i>total power</i></b>, and the ability to <b><i>decide</i></b> he makes and he can decide what <b><i>to do</i></b> and <b><i>what should be</i></b>)</li>
</ol>
Simply put, it is that Yahweh is powerful and can do what he wants. <br />
Yet there is something more. The entire reason for Yahweh going to Moses is because he saw the Hebrews, the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob suffering. He is sending Moses because he remembered his promises.<br />
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Actually, we must first realize that Yahweh giving the "I will be" phrase to Moses is not the first time Yahweh gives his 'name.' In fact, he does several times before. He gives them the name "I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." <br /><br />Do you remember what we learned before?<br />
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A name was the summation of who somebody was, is, and will be. So in this sense Yahweh is showing himself to be the "I will be" that he names himself to be.<br />
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Do you remember what I said before about embodiment? What Moses, an Iron Age Hebrew man, would be thinking of was the rich oral history of the Hebrews of all who Yahweh was to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He would remember all of the promises, the hurts, the triumph, and the amazing stories. Namely, he would remember God's promises to make a people out of Abraham. So when we are given the name "Yahweh," by Yahweh, he is reminding Moses (and Israel by extension) that he "will be" what he promised to be to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. <br /><br />So now, Yahweh is speaking to Moses to tell him to go to Egypt.<br />
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Moses is very much afraid of this. He is full of excuses, he is poor of speech, and after-all Moses ran away from Egypt after he murdered a man. In the very midst of this, Moses' fear and the daunting task ahead, Yahweh gives his name. "I will be who I will be," in this we can see the subtle promise; I will be who I have been to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.<br /><br />I can hear it as Moses would have heard it, "I will be who I will be, I will be all that I have promised to your forefathers. After all, Moses, I have heard the cries of my people and I remembered my promises to them. And to you Moses I will be who you, my people, will need me to be. I will be for you, Moses, who you need me to be as you go before Pharaoh." <br />
The great thing is that Yahweh proves this. He fulfills his promise to Moses by coming with sign of power before Pharaoh and his magicians (Ex. 7:1-13). He shows himself to be powerful before the Hebrews and and the Egyptians with the Seven Signs and Wonders (Ex. 7:14-12:42). Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob by rescuing the Hebrews out of Egypt and making them a people and gives them the Law to be the people they need to be (Ex. Chapters 19-24).<br /><br />Yahweh also proves himself to be the great "I will be" to Abraham and us. In Genesis 12 Yahweh and Abraham make a promise (a covenant,) Yahweh promises to make Abraham a blessing to all peoples. He shows this in Jesus Christ, because we know that through Abraham and his faith in Yahweh and Yahweh's promise we can now be saved (Romans chapter 4). After all, for [Yahweh] so loved the world that he gave his only son that those who believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).<br />
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Now as believers in Christ we can take comfort in knowing that Yahweh "will be who he will be" for us. He was able to be our salvation on the cross; he is able to help us in life now. He will certainly save us from death in the future.<br />
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He will be who we need him to be. It may not look like what we want his help to look like. After all, Yahweh gave his name to Moses when he did not want to go before Pharaoh. Yet Yahweh was more than enough for what Moses needed Yahweh to be.</span></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-32673422279436286292012-01-26T19:55:00.000-08:002012-01-26T19:55:48.526-08:00Doubt = Bad?<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've begun to rethink my view of doubt in Christianity. <br />
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It seems to me that there is this mind among the church of "doubt is from the devil." I know and have known so many Christians who begin to have some form of doubt in their walk with Jesus and really begin to worry about it. <br />
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They should, after all, it is what has been taught to them.<br />
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The difficulty with this mindset is that it allows no room for question. If an inquisitive believer (or inquisitive atheist/agnostic) goes to their (a) pastor or spiritual mentor or role model with a question, one of two things will happen. Either there is an answer or there is not, and for the answers that are difficult or that can't be answered with a pithy saying or acronym are pushed off as the "mystery" of God. <br />
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However if this same inquisitive believer doesn't buy into that answer or still struggles with the answer given them they will often be told "just have faith" (positively), or "don't doubt God" (negatively).<br />
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I have known a good number of people who ran from the church, or ignored the church because they couldn't find any answers or couldn't get around a number of issues. I have also known believers who still believe, but do not grow in their knowledge and further beat themselves up for doubting in the first place. <br />
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Now this is not the always the case. I do see a number of churches and believers beginning to ask questions (and actually find answers). <br />
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The more I think and research I have begun to question why is doubt bad? As I look around I have tried to find some basis in the Bible (a good of a place as any to look for some reason why Christians do what they do). The key New Testament text I hear quoted is the Doubting-Thomas passage in John 20:24-29. </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now I am not sure if you have heard of it, but the term "Doubting-Thomas" is a negative phrase for someone who doesn't have enough faith. A bygone era would use the phrase for a person who questioned too much or voiced their concerns about issues they have with the church and with Christianity at large. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are not familiar with the passage I would encourage you to look it up and familiarize yourself with it. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <br />
To give a brief background, John 20 takes place after the crucifixion, death and resurrection of Christ. At this point in time Christ had already revealed himself to a number of the people including some of his apostles. However, Thomas, one of Christ's twelve apostles, hears the news and is suspicious, he essentially says that he will believe this news the moment he can put his fingers in the holes in Christ's hands and his sides. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Surely enough a short time later Christ reveals himself to Thomas. Christ walks right up to Thomas and allows him to see his wounds and place his hands into his side saying, "Do not disbelieve, but believe." Thomas then exclaims "My Lord and my God!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I find interesting is that Christ does indeed exhort Thomas to believe (Jn. 20:27) but he never reprimands him. The first things that Christ did was to give him the evidence he needed to believe. Then Christ does indeed say "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (20:29). Jesus does indicate a higher nature of those who do not see and believe.<br />
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Certainly the better portion is faith, however Christ is not afraid of our doubt, he does not reprimand us for our questions! <br />
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What I find to be an odd marvel is that a person with such a reverence for God as to have faith in him, believe in scripture, but fear and tremble when they cannot answer. They cower when they cannot come up with a snappy retort. If we truly have faith in God (we TRULY believe it) wouldn't we believe that the Bible can stand up to scrutiny? Wouldn't we believe that there are indeed answers to our questions?<br />
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I genuinely believe in God, and I do think that faith is certainly the better road. However, it depends on what kind of faith you are talking about. Faith is not belief in something when there is no evidence, or belief when there is stark contradictory evidence against, I would argue in our case is that faith is belief in God <em>in spite of</em> doubt, hoping that God will move and carry us through, and that there will be answers. Belief in the truth when times are dark. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I actually take comfort in my doubt, though this may seem odd. <br />
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Being a very analytical person, I have lots of questions. However my history has been that there are answers, God has answers for all my questions. <br />
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They are not always what I thought they would be, they are not always what I like. Very many times I pour myself into finding the answers and in trying to understand them better, often times they cause me to take a very painful look inside myself, and often times I find even more questions. However, even in this, from past experience I have evidence to believe that God will still indeed have answers for me.<br />
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In Deuteronomy, Yahweh tells us to love him with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. I find that often times, we as Christians like to love God with a select combination of two - three of the four parts listed above. <br />
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So I encourage you... think! Question! You will find answers if you know where to look and you will be able to live out I Peter 3:15 "but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to give a defense for the hope that is in you."</span>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-57303214012630179232012-01-14T23:16:00.000-08:002012-01-14T23:16:02.722-08:00Uganda<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>AR-SA</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This is two chapters from one of my incomplete suspense stories. Simply Entitled Uganda. Let me know if you'd like to hear more. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter One</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Northeastern Uganda, Africa</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">July 17th 1912</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Sunset</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay Sinhassad gazed ruefully at the jungle-carpeted Mount Masawa. He noted the fiery alpenglow play on the craggy slopes. He imagined the veiled forest teeming with life, the humid stifling air between the knotted trunks. Then the higher slopes of the mountain, the cactus-like Lobelia, surrounded by short bristly scrub. Masawa was a glourious mountain from peak to its own stony roots.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Then of course, there was a darker side to Masawa, tales he had been told of floating spirits that shrieked in the night. These spirits searched the dark part of the mountain for creatures to devour, all in an attempt to sate an incorrigible bloodlust.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span><span> </span>The Giza ndugu…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>His father had told him and his younger brother Yemi it meant Darkness’s brother.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The legend of the Giza ndugu stretched back many ages ago.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The Legend had begun when a large tribe of Maasai settled on the southern slopes of the mountain, the grazing was good, and the predators were few.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>One day a great Maasai chieftain had come back from a lion hunt (he was known as a great protector of his tribe and of their prized cattle); he had run out of water and was injured on the savanna. The legends say he was sick from bad spirits. The Maasai elders met for an emergency council and it was decided that the sick chieftain was too valuable to their tribe, and their herd to risk losing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Desperate, the elders sent for a lone hermit, a shaman of great and malicious renown. The Shaman beseeched the spirits and in a vision he was told to send the chieftains brother and son to account for whatever trespass the chieftain had done to offend the spirits. It was the only way for the chieftain to be saved. They were to send the two to the dark-side of Mount Masawa, there they were to enter a cave, and within they would find filled with a special type of stone. The spirits directed that when boiled, the stones would dissolve, and the resulting liquid would heal their beloved chieftain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>So the two warriors, Brother and Son, departed up the mountain around to the opposite side. They never came back. A week from their parting, the medicine man came into tend the ill chieftain he was gone. His hut torn to shreds and him and his wife missing, their hut filled with signs of a great struggle. His hut was in the middle of the village and no one had heard a sound the night before.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>It was said to the Shaman in a vision that the Brother and Son pressed too deep into the cave and awoke something deep within. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The Giza ndugu. </span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay began to tremble under the weight of the past, his reminiscing interrupted. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“Calm yourself brother…” The memory of the young voice of M’bokay’s brother pulled him back, quenching those horrid and long-buried thoughts. Besides such were only stories.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He remembered venturing up the slopes of Mount Masawa as a child with his younger brother. He remembered his young brother Miyemi, the way he puffed his chest out when he played, the way he would smile crookedly when he jumped around the rocks. He was his baby brother but M’bokay had always drawn strength from Yemis’ courage.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He remembered those wonderful days.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He began to think of his family.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>His Mother was born into a respectable family of the Basoga tribe; she was a jewel among many respectable suitors, her skin flawless, darker than the most opaque night. With her eyes a bright and flickering flame and her smile that could break even the most callous of warriors.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>She was the object of a bright future, possibly even that of the Inhebantu, the chief woman of all the Basoga people.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>However her bright star was snuffed out; the next year the white man came to their town of Jinja.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Led by a strange man of Egypt, by the name of Speke, the white men came to find the headwaters of the Nile. When they came they were by and large bedraggled, sick, and few. Many had died on the arduous trek; and those who were there were either sick or missing some limb or lacking in some sensory aspect.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The white men proved not to be as gentlemanly as they carried themselves they came with promises of riches and learning, but they lied to, and seduced many a proud young woman. In order to keep his daughter innocent M’bokay’s grandfather had sent his daughter north, and away from the trouble.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>On the way they stopped in a small Basoga village on the edge of Lake Kyoga. That’s when she met Zhibohndo Sinhassad. M’bokay’s mother fell for the tall, half-egyptian hunter.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Their undoing came upon his mothers return to Jinja. Enraged to see her daughter three months pregnant, let alone hanging on the arm of a half-blood Basogan from a poor ancestry; he banished his daughter from his sight. All he did was host a small wedding and give them miniscule provisions. So they left broken, pregnant with M’bokay, with only one English rifle, a water pot, week’s supply of food, and a few articles of clothing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>They had bounced around a few months from village to village, his father doing odd jobs until M’bokay was born six months after they were cast out of Jinja. He then procured enough wealth to buy 3 cattle, and begin to buy land to farm bananas, and cassava.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Four years later his mother was pregnant again with Miyemi. Miyemi was born and then a year later drought hit and they were forced north to the foothills of Mount Masawa, where his father began a hunting service for the rich white men to hunt elephant, cape buffalo, and lion on Masawa and the surrounding savanna. Time passed, more and more whites came and went, a trading post was established around the Sinhassad homestead, sickness came and went, drought, rain, storms, winds, sun, moon, the good, and the bad all came and went. Both Yemi and M’bokay were learning their fathers’ skill.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>For once everything was good. M‘bokay was 16, Miyemi was 11, mother was well and their father was leading a cohort of very fat, very pale, and very rich Germans.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>However on the third day, after having not even seen hide or hair of any game, M’bokay’s father had seen fresh elephant tracks leading up the mountain to the upper forest on Masawa’s slopes. The Elephants were known to go into the caves on the Mountain, a place with high concentrations of salt which the elephants needed to live. However, the upper slopes of Masawa were dense forest and not easily navigable. Those who might venture up the mountain were kept at bay by the rumors and legend of the past.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>In an attempt to salvage future business Zhibohndo, Mbokay’s father, decided to press up the slope and take the elephant. Though it was later in the day they pressed on eager to find the elephant (it seemed from the tracks to be a lone bull) before nightfall and be done with the whole deal.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay’s never returned and after another day of anxious waiting his mother rallied another tracker to help her find her husband and his clients, going up the mountain herself with the tracker, leaving M’bokay to watch Yemi.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He begged his mother not to go, but his pleading only angered his mother. They set off in the dawn three days after his father was supposed to have returned.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">That was the year it was lost, that was the year it all went away.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay fought the overwhelming nausea that over took him, but the ever present knot ratcheted tighter and tighter deep in his chest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“<i>Calm yourself brother…”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He turned his attention to the white man sitting on the rock beside him.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Allan Whitehurst Kensington slid the bolt of his Mauser 98 back into the receiver; he then lifted the hefty weapon to the shooting position, gave the bolt an appraising slide, and then loaded the massive .500 Jeffries cartridge in and locked it into place. He reached over and loaded another two cartridges into a clip and fitted it into the underbelly of the weapon.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>This weapon could stop a charging elephant… but the goal was to stop an unsuspecting elephant.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>With a grunt and a complacent sigh he stood and slung the weapon over his sweaty khaki shirt.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“Ready?” M’bokay said.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The white man stood a square six feet; he was ruggedly handsome with a crop of light brown hair, with a dusting of gray along the side. He had a tapered jaw that ended in a profound cleft; His face was wizened by many hunts, and on this particular day accumulating in short stubble and premature crows’ feet. Topping off the typical portrait of the Great White Hunter, he spoke in a plummy English accent.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">He took a swig of water from a canteen, looked around and said, “We’d better be going then, if we plan to come upon the bull before night fall.” He clipped the canteen to his belt and dusted off his knobby knees.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“We will leave once Lhaako returns.” M’bokay replied. Lhaako was M’bokay’s’ best friend, he had gone ahead to cut for sign of the bull elephants trail.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The Englishman’s’ normally demure countenance broke with a flash of annoyance at being forced to wait further.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay hoped it would be soon, they had spent two long and hot days tracking the crafty pachyderm; the beast had eluded them until this morning. The hunting party had crested a ridge and caught a glimpse of the 5 ton mammal snacking on some local flora. They moved downwind quickly, cutting down the ridge. All seemed to be falling into place, but Lhaako’s attention failed as he stepped on a dry branch. At the sharp snapping they were spotted by the creature causing the bull to face the noise. However rather uncharacteristically for such a large and strong creature, it opted to flee.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span><br />
<span> </span>Kensington tried to take it down at almost a thousand meters, all he did was miscalculate the windage and put a fist size gash in the animals’ ear and the beast escaped.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako came striding through the brush. He looked at his companion and his client. An almost imperceptible nod signified he had found the trail, however the glint in his eye bespoke that he had found the bull.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The corners of Kensington’s mouth curled into the faintest smile. He re-shouldered his pack, un-slung his rifle, and he marched forward with new a resolve.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The last two days of tracking the big elephant had taken its toll. But it was worth it now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay grinned to himself.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The ruddy disk that was the sun was low over the western lowlands and the moon had risen partially in the east.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The chill of nightfall began to set in. It was a rather cool night over the brushy foothills of Mount Masawa. The mountain rose in a casually, yet ominous fashion. The wind blew through the grass, and acacia, with a gentle susurrus that reminded Allan Kensington of a loving whisper. The kind of whisper that would be exchanged between two lovers. Whispers of God to man of a magnificent gift.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>That is what Kensington loved about nature and specifically the hunt. Here in the wild, the science, the discovery didn’t matter. Out here everything had to be taken at face value, the beauty was all that one could take away. <br />
<span> </span>Perhaps a trophy could be allowed from time to time.<br />
<br />
<span> </span>Kensington smiled to himself as he followed Lhaako; low and slow upslope, through the brush.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span><i>A lull in the wind.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The whispers faded. All he could hear now was bugs. In the stillness of the evening every insect, arachnid, fairy, nymph, incubus, and mystical creature arose from their diurnal slumber to molest the consciousness of all those who seek a comforting respite.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Nonsense…They’re just legends. Kensington said to himself as he realized he had unconsciously been holding his breath. He had set up in M’bokay’s village two days before, when they were getting ready for the hunt. Needless to say, there were quite a few passionately supernatural villagers that weren’t shy in their gossip about the dark dangers upon Masawa.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>In fact, the locals feared the mountain so much Lhaako and M’bokay were the only Basoga that went anywhere near the mountain, let alone hunting in the area.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The three hunters had gone almost a kilometer since their previous stop. The brush had noticeably grown into a forest, and all three had slowed down to a veritable creep, which wouldn’t be really bad if they weren’t stalking a three and a half meter tall, 5 ton animal through thorny acacia.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The creep continued for 10 minutes, until a cautionary hand was raised by Lhaako, at which point they converged in a small clearing. “We must be careful now,” Lhaako whispered in heavily accented English. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay turned to Kensington, “Are you ready?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Kensington gave a terse nod, his steel-grey eyes as indiscernible as ever.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako spoke up, “We will circle to the south, about a third of a kilometer, and the winds are moving downhill at this time of day. The bull is watering right now, we must be quick.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“The bush is thick here. How will we know when we are coming upon the bull?” Kensington queried in his rich accent. “I don’t want to be blind sighted by an angry elephant.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako smiled, “You will know.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>It typically was unwise to strike out after dark anywhere especially in Africa, Kensington would have protested, if he didn’t want that elephant so badly.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter Two</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Northeastern Uganda, Africa</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">July 17th 1912</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Early Evening</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The bull stood beneath the broad canopy of a tree, idly masticating some ill fated foliage.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The last twenty minutes of stalking had taken them into thick undergrowth that had eventually given way to a rockier landscape; they had converged on a sandy gorge surrounded by sandstone cliffs on three sides. The clearing was filled with tall green grass, pocked with glades of tropical trees, it was all cut through the center by a clear and babbling spring that stagnated at the very back of the gorge and disappeared into the rock. It was pretty enough, but… </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>All of his sensory impulses screamed in agony.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Kensington was 35 meters away from the groggy behemoth, his knees ached from crouching in the grass. The air was hot and muggy in the gorge, and was dense and buzzing with bloodthirsty mosquitoes. The smell was an overpowering potpourri, the air was redolent with the thick, hot, and bitter stench of urine combined with the moist smell of elephant dung.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>It was hell, but his military training had prepared him, he didn’t bat an eye.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He slowly glanced 20 meters to his right and left, Lhaako and M’bokay had taken up positions up in trees so that if the elephant got wise to their presence or inadvertently tried to leave, they could take him down. For now he was crouched at the foot of an ancient baobab tree, Mauser shouldered, and in the only place a kill shot was even possible without first alerting the beast.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Butterflies quarreled in his stomach and an electric crawl edged through his nerves. He took a few deep breaths, and flexed his shoulders. He again gauged the distance, (no wind flowed in the gorge), and he then compensated for the drop, and tightened the mental noose. The shot was almost ideal, broadside to the bull, at a 30-35 degree angle to the rear. This way the slug would not flatten against the creatures broad and strong ribs but rather pass through at least one lung and the heart. The massive blood-loss would drop the creature within seconds. The only quicker way was to try a difficult shot at the spine or base of the neck, (nearly impossible at anything less than point-blank distance with a weapon with such fierce recoil) or a head shot, however the possibility of the elephants thick skull stopping or deflecting the shot, especially at Kensington’s particular angle was too great.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He leaned forward, slid his finger over the trigger and squeezed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The beast trumpeted in fear and thrashed in anger.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The elephant was having a bad day; it was rudely awakened this morning by the whooping cackles of desperate hyenas. It had also seen something in the forest a few days prior wich it had not been able to frighten away. The creature it had never seen before but it made the elephant uneasy. Now, it was spotted by those queer little hairless, and tail-less humans and closed into a gorge and those humans were crawling around in the brush. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>So the elephant then began to make a run for it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>BOOM!</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>A small blossom of smoke and light parted the brush, and the charging beast felt a sharp pain in its shoulder.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako saw it all from his elevated perch, the English man aimed his rifle and fired just as the animal began to back away from the stream to flee, the lead slug slammed into the animals shoulder in and out trailing a 5 foot jet of pulp. The charging animal passed in between him and Kensington and the second shot was fired causing the animal to stumble, but it continued forward.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He looked towards his clients’ position and he was already up, moving, and fiddling with his rifle. M’bokay was also on the move his rifle in hand. M’bokay gestured for Lhaako to come.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako silently dismounted the tree and took up his weapon and began the pursuit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>The chase had taken them back into the brush, and once again the acacia thorns all took pleasure in piercing his skin. To his left he heard another gunshot and glimpsed a bit of muzzle flash in the failing light. He pushed even further forward.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">***</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span><i>‘I’m getting way too old for this…’ </i>Kensington thought to himself as he puffed through the bush.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>At 53, most men his age stuck to their smoking rooms and parlors. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>How unsporting. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He side stepped a puddle and rounded out cropping of rock, a meadow opened up before his aching feet. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>No elephant.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Most of his exposed skin was weeping blood from the thorns, and on top of that his shoulder throbbed sorely, and his unprotected ears rang piercingly from the two successive shots he had just fired. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">He cursed under his breath as he ran his fingers through his graying hair. He turned about to see if he could find tracks and if he could find his guides. It would be difficult in the failing light. He reached for his flashlight on his belt. But before he even touched it a wall of jungle peeled outward as something large burst from the shady bower.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Instinctively Kensington raised his rifle and fired. The figure gave a whooping shriek and fell to the ground.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Heart beating in his ears he peered through the dark at what he had just shot. He slowly approached its prone form and nudged it with his barrel. Dead. A smell of excrement and the sickly-sweet decay of death enveloped the clearing. He had never seen anything like it in his time in Africa. He had been all over the continent and never before had he seen…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako and M’bokay came into the clearing and stopped dead.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay’s closed his mouth realizing and involuntary gawk had split his countenance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako dropped to his knees and pressed his head against the ground, his mouth mumbling indistinct words of prayer.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“What on God’s earth is it?” Kensington asked, his eyes not leaving the fresh carcass.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay’s thick brow knotted in fear and pain. “It is evil,” he choked through fear and disbelief. Rivulets of sweat flowing down the light creases of his weathered face made him seem one hundred years older. Lhaako’s deep chanting droned on as all three men stared at the horrible chimera that lay before them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>M’bokay started. “It looks like a…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>His observation was cut short by an outcry of screeching cackles. They arose all around, forlorn in the opaque folds of the jungle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“They’re all around us!” Kensington whispered, looking about and clutching his Mauser to his chest. “What are they? Hyena?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“No! Much worse! But it does not matter it is useless!” Lhaako said his face rising from the ground. “They are many.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>“I’m sorry I if don’t agree with your decision to belly-up.” Kensington said as he reloaded and checked his rifle.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Lhaako flew into a rage, he rose with inhuman speed and grabbed the white man by his collar and lifted him up. “Don’t you see, you arrogant ghost!” he yelled his voice shrill with fear, “the Ndugu have come! They have marked us for death because we have trespassed on their sacred land” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>With Lhaako’s rant spoken his grip loosened. Seeing as his rifle had been knocked from his grasp, Kensington took the opportunity and delivered a blow to Lhaako’s chest that caused him to stumble back and fall flat on his back. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>He lay on the fringe of the clearing, gasping for breath, his face and torso obscured by shadow and brush. M’bokay remained where he was, puffing with anger and fear, his rifle and complete attention trained on the surrounding forest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span>Kensington made a move towards his rifle when a cry rose up just behind Lhaako and his body was dragged from sight his shrieks splitting the warm and close atmosphere.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span> </span></span></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-25535998034325592592011-06-10T11:47:00.000-07:002011-06-10T11:47:45.905-07:00Static Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/FqXZD_z3eCc/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FqXZD_z3eCc&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FqXZD_z3eCc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>I've been thinking.<br />
<br />
Actually I've been watching videos, but when listening to the above song I began to weep just awed by God's power and Christ's love. Then the song goes into (what I believe is called) the bridge; <br />
<br />
"and we will overcome, by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony"<br />
<br />
Naturally, my weeping subsided because the focus of the song shifted towards what I'm supposed to do. Rather than the intrinsic thanksgiving towards God.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to lie, I was a little inconvenienced, I was enjoying my moment of personal worship. Then I began to realize that I'm not just supposed to let myself be moved and then not do anything, even in light of what God did for me.<br />
<br />
One of the things that I've started to notice is a radical difference in what Biblical Love and Wordly Love mean. Wordly Love has taken a stab at being a steadfast love, but has changed to be a love that loves despite imperfections. Biblical love is this as well, but Worldly Love is love that is static, love that never expects change.<br />
<br />
Biblical Love bears some vague semblance, but true Biblical love is a love that loves towards a goal, love that expects action, loves that does not force, but a love so pure and wholesome that the only response is action, obedience.<br />
<br />
This is God's love for us: (Rom. 5:8) that even while were sinner's Christ died for us, and (Rom. 2:4) that God's kindness is meant to lead us to repentance. <br />
<br />
This is God's mode of love (John 3:16) for God so love the world, that he sent his only son that those who believe will have everlasting life. God's love caused him to act, and if we aspire to be like Christ and as we are in God's very image, our love for God and others should spur us into action.<br />
<br />
Here is where the response comes in. Are we really letting God's love move us, if we weep, jump, pray and praise in times of worship and are comforted, why shouldn't pass that on?<br />
<br />
Paul is expressly clear in II Corinthians 1:2-7: (I'll paraphrase for brevity's sake) God comforts us so that we can comfort others, again, a response...<br />
<br />
What can we do, well unless God has been putting something specific on your heart to do, someone to serve or even pray for... do it! <br />
<br />
Heck if nothing specific, just pray for the people around or pray for opportunity to pass the comfort, love and blessing on, I guarantee he will give you an opportunity.J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-5024938116711225632011-03-23T00:21:00.000-07:002011-03-23T00:21:10.624-07:00Martyrdom: A Last Resort"Martyr" is such an outdated term, and in our Western Culture an outdated ideal.<br />
<br />
Growing up in church, I was made aware that there have been a number of Christians who have died in the name of the Church. Whether for ill or better it was a reality of being a Christian, albeit a distant reality.<br />
<br />
The older I got I began to view dying for the name of Christ as a Biblical contingency, a last resort to my Christian walk. I began to wonder whether I would ever have to give up my life, whether I would ever be forced by God to suffer for Jesus. I'll admit the probability of this happening was at the very rear of my mind.<br />
<br />
The funny thing is that, as with many things in my walk with Christ, God decides to pull the things that I've tried to keep my mind the farthest from, he pulls into the limelight, the very forefront.<br />
<br />
As I began to grow physically and in my gifts I began to realize the very real nature of scripture and the very imminent call to ministry in my life. The more I thought about it and prayed the more like I felt that I would have to go to this very far extent. The implications of my life choices then became very important. Frivolous certainties in my future were cast into the cold light of doubt.<br />
<br />
If I was going to be killed or die in the line of Ministry should I get married if I might die at a young age? Would that be selfish? Should I spend time building myself up for success? Should I dedicate my self to college?<br />
<br />
I didn't know what this feeling was but it felt very real and a potential and very imminent possibility. I even tearfully told my Mom about this feeling one day. In retrospect that was kind of weird.<br />
<br />
The more I began to grow, read, study and discuss the potentiality of martyrdom my view was flipped around. I began to read Acts, and specifically Acts 4, where some of the early followers of Christ were <i>excited</i> about being "counted worthy" to suffer for the name of Christ.<br />
<br />
Bizarre, I had read that scripture a thousand times and it had never resounded with that much depth and clarity before. I had viewed the prospect of martyrdom as a contingency, never before as a privilege. I know it may sound trite as it had previously, I had realized that throughout scripture The Gospel was displayed as offensive to the world, it was a stumbling stone. I had also began to realize that in Scripture we see that we must serve, that we need to love one another- becoming the last place. We need to be obedient, and God will never give us more than he has equipped us to overcome.<br />
<br />
As a friend of mine, and student at my school stated: "I mean look at the Prophets! How much is loving a rebellious people who reject you, like the heart of God?" (Sorry Megan, I just swiped that) ;) <br />
<br />
In began to realize that there was no greater privilege than to be so obedient to the call of Christ and going out and loving a people who revile you to the point of being killed for love. As Christians we are called to follow Christ example, he brought the good news of the kingdom of God: he loved and healed and ministered. He was then betrayed, arrested, denied by the one who claimed unwavering loyalty, falsely tried, beaten, mocked, and killed by a corrupt system. What else could have spelled out rejection? How much should we be clamoring to be called to die? That God has called us to people who hate us and revile us and maybe will kill us.<br />
<br />
"There is no greater love than he who lays down his life for that of his brother."<br />
<br />
I began to realize that there is no greater calling than that of Christ. As Paul says in his letter to the Philippians "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain." That doesn't mean we should go looking to make people angry and get killed but realize that we will be joining Christ that much sooner, and of the right heart, love.<br />
<br />
However, in the mean-time Scripture urges us to be wise, and good stewards of our lives which requires planning ahead. As far as marriage goes: again Christ is the highest calling, and marriage is a good thing and God never gives people more than he has equipped them to handle. I just need to find a woman of a like mind: A woman able to let me go for the sake of Christ, and myself likewise of her. It will be incredibly difficult, however there will be a day where there is no more tears and sorrow :)<br />
<br />
Of course scripture speaks of reward in heaven for obedience, however I hope that one day I might be counted as faithful enough and be able to be obedient enough to have the privilege of dying for the Name. Don't get me wrong this is no frivolous decision Even Paul indicates that we are more effective alive, but death is of my own gain. Should I just jump into it? No.<br />
<br />
As for that feeling that this will be a part of my future: I'm no where near sure. However we will see :)J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-46502836724815480642011-03-07T10:36:00.000-08:002011-03-07T10:40:46.332-08:00Going Old Testament<div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Isaiah 1:15-20:</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><sup>15</sup>When you spread out your hands,<br />
I will hide my eyes from you;<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>even though you make many prayers,<br />
I will not listen;<br />
your hands are full of blood.<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>16</sup></span> Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;<br />
remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes;<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>cease to do evil,<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>17</sup></span>learn to do good;<br />
<span><sup> </sup> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>seek justice,<br />
correct oppression;<br />
<span><sup> </sup> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bring justice to the fatherless,<br />
plead the widow’s cause. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"> <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>18</sup></span>"Come now, let us reason<sup> </sup>(dispute) together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet,<br />
they shall be as white as snow;<br />
though they are red like crimson,<br />
they shall become like wool.<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>19</sup></span> If you are willing and obedient,<br />
you shall eat the good of the land;<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>20</sup></span>but if you refuse and rebel,<br />
you shall be eaten by the sword;<br />
<sup> </sup><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."</span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">As is normally my custom this scripture has something to do with my favorite band: U2 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:D</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">I was reading an interview of Bono the other day: when asked about his understanding of Scripture in said interview, Bono brings up the central Christian teaching of love; how it is crucial to the person of God as well as the entirety of the New Testament. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">After Bono finished his comment on the issues, interviewer Michka Assayas brings up the issue of God’s person as exhibited in the Old Testament saying:</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><strong>Assayas</strong>: What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?</span></span></span></div><div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">I am not too sure about your experience, but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen this argument used against the church: the paradox of jumping from complete vindictiveness and cruelty to love and peace. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We as humans are so swift to divide God between the Old Testament and the New Testament. We discount his unchanging, steadfast, and ultimately just nature.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">This provides numerous problems; people discount God’s nature viewing him as fickle associating the attributes like anger, wrath, and justice and ascribing to them our own human shortcomings in these areas of emotion.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Anger becomes impulsive and uncontrolled. Justice becomes slanted and vindictive. Wrath becomes unjust and cruel. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We say that God has no mercy. We say God has no compassion. We say that God has had no love. We entitle ourselves to salvation and become indignant at the lack of tolerance.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">The main problem comes to be that we forget that our own emotions are after God’s own emotions but contorted by sin, and lesser shadows of God’s emotions. We ascribe all these negative attributes of emotion to God. God’s justice demands actions against injustice and sin. He created right and wrong, he created us to choose right. We choose to wrong and as a result our wrong-doing must be repaid with death. We fail to remember that we provoked God. Justice is not slanted we all have sinned and we all deserve death.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We claim that God does not show us mercy. If we all died a horribly painful death right now, that would be just. Every breath we have is grace: something good that we do not deserve. Whether our lives are miserable or marvelous. People who follow Jesus and people who do not. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">God’s anger is not impulsive. It is the God’s natural emotion to the violation of justice. It is measured and it only lasts for but a moment.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We claim that God shows us no compassion. In Genesis 6, he sends a flood to wipe out all of humankind. They had sinned and were deserving of death. They had violated the one who created them. He had the right. However, he chose one man and his family for no other purpose than he had compassion. Noah was said to be blameless, however still human and as such still sinful. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">God’s wrath is not unjust, it is not cruel, it is the satisfaction of God’s anger; payment for the violation of God’s justice. </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We fail to remember the very beginning: Genesis 12. Man is fallen and sinful, God has spared humankind once before but God makes a promise to Abraham (one who merely had the faith to believe in God and obey, and he was considered righteous for doing so,) that all nations would be saved through him and his line. God here demonstrates his compassion mercy and grace: He has compassion one who would obey him, he gives grace by promising to bless him with many offspring and making them his (God’s) people; he does this to be a blessing the world to the effect of showing them mercy, first through sacrifice but then through Christ. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">We claim that the Old Testament was devoid of any Godly love and mercy. This where Isaiah 1 comes in: In verses 15 God shows that the many sacrifices of Israel do not please him (violation of God: injustice-anger). In verses 16-17: He offers them second chance by telling them to turn from their ways (mercy). However, in verses 18-19 Isaiah relates God’s grace saying:</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">Come now, let us reason<sup> </sup>(dispute) together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet,<br />
they shall be as white as snow;<br />
though they are red like crimson,<br />
they shall become like wool.<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><sup>19</sup></span> If you are willing and obedient,<br />
you shall eat the good of the land;</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">In context: Isaiah is referring to the forgiveness of sins through sacrifice. Israel’s sacrifices will become pleasing to the LORDS once more. Israel will prosper under the blessing of God once again, despite Israel’s sin. There is also a second undertone: this scripture is used once again in the New Testament referring to Christ. The ultimate form of grace and compassion; we deserved death, God loved, in and of itself a gracious act, so he did all the work by mercy.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">How little we realize how right God was for acting on his anger, but in the Old Testament he unleashed his wrath to satisfy his righteous anger only as a last resort. That is why we see the prophets, these turn or burn sort of folks. We view them as being sort of spiritual terrorists sent by God to scare people into obeying a cruel god. But they were messengers sent to warn a rebellious and ungrateful people (whom God loved!) so God might have mercy on them once more. We fail to see the prophets as a lovers pleading intervention, although not wavering on the consequences of un-broken rebellion.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">This scripture is so very much a reminder to me who God is how unchanging he has been and why Christians need to share the Gospel. I hope that this is helpful to non-believers that they might see how God loves and how dire our situations truly. As Christians, I hope that this might inspire you to see the attributes of God better and see how his love is manifest throughout scripture and that you might share and read the prophets, as they are intended.</span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"></span> </div></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-15892935570546756822010-12-06T17:36:00.000-08:002010-12-06T17:36:22.298-08:00Peeling Back the Tinsel<div style="text-align: center;"><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Hark! The herald angels sing, <br />
“Glory to the newborn King; <br />
Peace on earth, and mercy mild, <br />
God and sinners reconciled!”<br />
Joyful, all ye nations rise, <br />
Join the triumph of the skies; <br />
With th’angelic host proclaim, <br />
“Christ is born in Bethlehem!”</em></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! the herald angels sing, <br />
“Glory to the newborn King!”</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Christ, by highest Heav’n adored; <br />
Christ the everlasting Lord; <br />
Late in time, behold Him come, <br />
Offspring of a virgin’s womb.<br />
Veiled in flesh the Godhead sees; <br />
Hail th’incarnate Deity, <br />
Pleased with us in flesh to dwell, <br />
Jesus our Emmanuel.</em></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! the herald angels sing,<br />
“Glory to the newborn King!”</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!<br />
Hail the Son of Righteousness!<br />
Light and life to all He brings,<br />
Ris’n with healing in His wings.<br />
Mild He lays His glory by,<br />
Born that man no more may die.<br />
Born to raise the sons of earth,<br />
Born to give them second birth.</em></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! the herald angels sing,<br />
“Glory to the newborn King!”</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Come, Desire of nations, come,<br />
Fix in us Thy humble home;<br />
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,<br />
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.<br />
Now display Thy saving power,<br />
Ruined nature now restore;<br />
Now in mystic union join<br />
Thine to ours, and ours to Thine.</em></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! the herald angels sing,<br />
“Glory to the newborn King!”</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Adam’s likeness, Lord, efface,<br />
Stamp Thine image in its place:<br />
Second Adam from above,<br />
Reinstate us in Thy love.<br />
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,<br />
Thee, the Life, the inner man:<br />
O, to all Thyself impart,<br />
Formed in each believing heart.</em></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! the herald angels sing,<br />
“Glory to the newborn King!”</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black;"><em><span style="color: #f3f3f3;">“Hark the herald angels sing” Christmas Carol was written by Charles Wesley, brother of John Wesley founder of the Methodist church, in 1739. A somber man, he requested slow and solemn music for his lyrics and thus “Hark the herald angels sing” was sung to a different tune initially. Over a hundred years later Felix Mendelssohn (1809-1847) composed a cantata in 1840 to commemorate Johann Gutenberg's invention of the printing press. English musician William H. Cummings adapted Mendelssohn’s music to fit the lyrics of “Hark the herald angels sing” already written by Wesley. -carols.uk.or</span></em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>Wordy, huh... Every year I have a favorite Christmas song, 2008 it was "Angels We Have Heard on High," last year it was "Do You Hear What I Hear?", and this year it is the recurring "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>I'm not sure why, but I have always been drawn to this song, there was something about the tune that caught my ear as a wee lad, but as a kid, words such as, hark, herald, incarnate, deity, and Godhead eluded my scope of understanding. It was just a fun carol to sing with a catchy tune.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>Much like every other song, I sang it, but I did not grasp the meaning, whether for benefit or ill.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>This carol is often lauded as being the most theologically accurate Christmas carol, so naturally it carries some weight with me as a Bible College student. I know it sounds pretentious, and this bias based on theological validity in every single facet has been something I've tried to combat over the past two and a half years.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>But instead of just approving the song because it is correct; I decided this year to stop and see if I could understand it and actually stop using the song as a carol, but see it as worship and sing it as worship.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>I had to say I was expecting a little bit weight, but naturally as the somber work of an Anglican hymnodist I shouldn't have been shocked. The language used is that a joyous reprise steeped in gratitude for the God who sent his son to die. If you have not read my blog on the weight of Christ go back to my first blog and read it, but this song itself was a condensed study of Christ to whom immense amount of glory is ascribed. From who originated the salvation of man and restoration of created to creator; of whom makes justified those who have faith in Christ. This song is in my mind a great portrait about what Christmas is about.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><em>Adam’s likeness, Lord, efface,<br />
Stamp Thine image in its place:<br />
Second Adam from above,<br />
Reinstate us in Thy love.<br />
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,<br />
Thee, the Life, the inner man:<br />
O, to all Thyself impart,<br />
Formed in each believing heart.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Christ, by highest Heav’n adored; <br />
Christ the everlasting Lord;</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>But more so it is worship of the all powerful Creator of the Universe, who did not think that his equality as God was something to be grasped, but whom went from the highest throne to the lowest animal feed trough, endured a messy birth to come into the world as a little baby and endure a childhood far below him, and endure a people that would reject him and ignore him, and endure an intensely painful death. This song reminds me of the fact that Jesus did this not out of being forced, you can’t force God, he wasn’t begrudgingly doing it either, he wouldn’t be unjust in wiping us all out, he chose to come down out of love.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Peace on earth, and mercy mild, <br />
God and sinners reconciled!”</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>This song reminds me of the fact that Jesus did this all out of love for the people who turned away from him, the people who could not even follow the Law and stay faithful to him. In his loving state he endured our sins and was mocked for doing so. He made us right with God. He also broke the bondage of Sin, not only did he save us but he came to heal us.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!<br />
Hail the Son of Righteousness!<br />
Light and life to all He brings,<br />
Ris’n with healing in His wings.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>As the Church around the holidays we like to say “Christ, he is the reason for the season,” we like to denounce the commercialism and promote remembering Jesus with our families and goodwill towards all men on Christmas. All of this is well and good, but this song reminds me of another important thing. </em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>Christmas is a message about Christ and the roots from which Christianity sprouts, but it is not a message for the family nor the goodwill of man.</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><em>We like denouncing commercialism but we love to focus on family. I want to point out that, I’m not bashing family. I love being with my family on holidays, but the message of Christmas is a message that is meant for the marginalized. This song’s refrain is what reminds me of this:</em></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><em>Hark! The herald angels sing, <br />
“Glory to the newborn King;</em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>This line is in reference to the appearance of the Angels of the Lord to the Shepherds in the field. Why is this significant; because it was they whom the Lord appeared to, and they who were given the Gospel firsthand? When we look at the nativity story we see that God appeared to Mary, Elizabeth, and the Shepherds. In the day these people were the marginalized. </em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Shepherds were outcasts that spent most of their lives alone, they smelled and were never wealthy. Few people liked them they came through with their sheep and blocked roads and killed crops.</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Elizabeth was an upright woman but she was barren, she had no promise of posterity that would essentially bear the honor of Zachariah her husband and her. In Israel barren women were without much hope.</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Mary was very poor; having been pregnant outside of wedlock she was also looked down upon in society.</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Yet it was these three whom the Christmas message, God gave the greatest news ever told, first to the people who had little future and no hope, as the Angel of the Lord it is good news that will be for all the people.</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>This is where we like to throw out the goodwill towards men, we think Christmas is about being kind, but no, it is the promise of eternal life and gaining new hope in Christ. </em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span><em>If anything this line of Lyric is the most powerful reminder to me of what Christmas is about, but the renewed hope and of God keeping his promises to the world, a promise of reconciliation, healing and right standing. Not just getting close to your family or being kind (and especially not commercialism).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>So if you take anything from this, I hope you now have a new appreciation for this song and what it represents. It has theological themes which paint a beautiful picture of which I am reminded of a correct perspective, but if for you, be reminded of Christ a an infant preparing to endure humility on our behalf and to remind to be encouraged and to encourage others and bring them to a knowledge of Christ.</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Merry Christmas!</em></span></div><div class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><em>Joseph</em></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><em><u><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Where breath is at an impasse, the old self dies and the new self is raised"</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></em></div><div align="center" class="chorus" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span></div></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-16831764489501457882010-11-29T23:12:00.000-08:002013-07-29T09:26:43.430-07:00How Half-Dome changed my life...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ansel Adams "Moon Over Half Dome" 1960</div>
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For centuries people have been captivated by the stark monolith which is known by the unimaginative moniker "Half-Dome".<br />
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My first experience with Half Dome was in the summer of 1996, I was 5 years old. The year previous my father and two elder brothers had summited Half Dome with a group of folks from our church, having thoroughly enjoyed the climb, they had decided to summer of '96 they were going to do it again. My mother, youngest brother and I were staying at the Tenaya Lodge I didn't hike but to this day I remember a few of those iconic views of Half-Dome that have stayed with me until this day.</div>
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From my dad's perspective, it was his favorite day hike he had ever done, the views were stunning the waterfalls abundant and gushing and the forests lush. He loved hiking and especially loved sharing these experiences with his sons. despite the strenuous nature of the hike, he looked forward to hiking Half-Dome with my younger brother and I in the next few years.</div>
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Fast forward a number of years during a time when my younger brother and I were in the Boy Scouts. We had been a part of the Boy Scouts for about three years when we both decided to quit much to my Dad's dismay. I had been out of shape as a kid (like seriously overweight) although I greatly enjoyed the outdoors I was loathe to do anything with any significant uphill, and the thought of 17 miles was incomprehensible. Meanwhile my younger brother was not very interested in hiking for hiking's sake. My dad still planned on doing it with us someday.</div>
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Fast forward to 2008. After some 20 years in the movie business (greens-work) his shoulder had been causing him some trouble. He was also overweight, he was effectively 60 pounds over his weight when he graduated highschool. He had lost a significant amount of weight and gained significant amount of muscle some 8-9 years previous but it had crept back. At one point he began to shave off the pounds along with me (I had dropped from being a 230 lbs 14 year old to 170 lbs [mainly by metabolic virtue and vertical growth]) and been trying to get into shape. Ultimately the world and life crept up on the both of us (as well as my two eldest brothers). Recently as he had began to run his knees would swell up for days. he spent much of his youth in the Sierra Nevadas. He (my dad) had pretty much given up on being in the mountains and his desire to hike Half-Dome with all of his boys might just go on unsatisfied.</div>
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But by the grace of God, my family was introduced to a superfood supplement called Mona Vie. Although initially skeptical, everyone in my family began taking it as as a result the days of discomfort and recovery after workouts reduced and my dad was able to resume a solid exercise regime once more.</div>
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Unbeknownst to him, his boys were plotting. For Fathers Day 2008 my three brothers and I gave him the gift of a three day camping trip for summer 2009 to hike Half Dome (and to fly out the second eldest brother out from North Carolina).<br />
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The Gregory boys were going to Yosemite.<br />
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Although an exciting proposition I began to foster internal doubts. For years Half Dome had been this distant entity of certainty in my life. That doesn't make sense. It was something (a daunting something) I knew I would do someday, but in my mind there was never an affixed date.<br />
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That had changed.<br />
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As much as I loved the outdoors, the real reason that I had joined the Boy Scouts was going cool places with my dad. I liked the outdoors but the main reason was getting to spend time with my father. All my other brothers enjoyed sports and could identify with him through that. I, on the other hand, abhorred physical activity and avoided it like the plague. I just didn't understand watching people exert themselves either. Being a kid with an aversion to sports had ruled out almost all exercise which was in part the reason for my lacking in fitness.<br />
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Before then the longest day-hike I had done was 10 miles on flat ground. I had no idea how I would do. I just knew that I would need to get in shape. I had decided I would focus the couple of months of summer break prior to the hike to devote to fitness. In the meantime there was food to be had; besides I had a full year.<br />
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Then spring term came at school. One particular Saturday morning I was coerced by some friends to join them on an excursion to do a 5 mile hike. After reading something on it I felt that it would be a good way to get a benchmark on where I was at for Half-Dome.<br />
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I was totally and utterly blindsided.<br />
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It was difficult, but the most peculiar thing occurred. I'll be darned if I didn't enjoy it. We hiked to the Devil's Chair, a rocky promontory that juts out some 300 feet over and 500 feet above the Devils Punchbowl on the northern slopes of California's San Gabriel Mountains.<br />
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It was spring so the peaks above us, Mount Throop, Mount Lewis and Mount Williamson (not the 14'er) were clad in snow, and broad expanse of the Mojave Desert spread out below us. We were in that curious zone where there are evergreens and cactus side-by-side. As we sat out on the Chair, the breeze gently cooled us from the sun and brought to our ears tidings of adventure. We sat and read out of Job 38 where God speaks to Job out of the whirlwind. It was amazing.<br />
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After that my Dad and I began arranging to hike a few peaks to get up to altitude so that we wouldn't be completely unprepared, my eldest brother was planing to do a few with us. My youngest brother was in great shape so he avoided going outside whenever there was mountains and dirt involved. When doing this I realized that i had never summitted a mountain before in all of my hiking. Our first summit was going to be Mount San Antonio (Mount Baldy) which was around 11 miles. It was a month away. I couldn't wait that long.<br />
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I haphazardly charged up into the local San Gabriel's to climb Ontario Peak which was a lovely front-range Peak with a view of the sea. I was turned back by snow (although I wasn't too terribly torn up about heading down) I was enamored by being in forests, by water, especially by attaining new altitudes. I couldn't explain it it was as if something that lie dormant for years was finally growing. For once the desire to attain something exceeded the amount of discomfort it would take to get there.<br />
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Mount Baldy was a wake up call for sure. Despite my new drive I was still overwhelmed by 100 excess pounds of body fat. I was 320lbs the heaviest I had ever been. I was dying. My dad rocketed on ahead and was encouraged about how he would perform on Half-Dome, he ended up waiting for me just under the summit for almost an hour. My eldest brother only beat me by 30 minutes. There was work to do.<br />
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Two months and -40lbs later we drove to Yosemite. It was 4 am when we pulled into Bridalveil Creek Campground and found a single spot open, first-come-first-serve. Thank you Jesus. With time to kill until first light, we decided to hightail it to Glacier Point to watch the sunrise. Words cannot express the beauty that took form:<br />
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My brother Andy and I were crying. I know sissy right? ;)<br />
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Even these pictures fail to capture the depth of this place. Scattering rainstorms caught the morning light and illuminated an incandescent pink. The sun came up perfectly behind Half-Dome.<br />
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I can say that morning is probably the most brilliant moment of majesty I have ever witnessed in this natural world. I wouldn't deny my apprehension seeing the stark proportions and harsh angles of Half Dome in person. It was down-right terrifying. I was going to be CLIMBING that. Wow.<br />
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We enjoyed our time there until we picked my brother from NC two nights before we had scheduled to hike. We enjoyed hanging out and observing the wonders of Yosemite Valley and in particular, the Ansel Adams Gallery.I just focused on enjoying things and leaving the hike for the hike day.<br />
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Then my dad decided to make a bad joke. What if we did the hike at night?<br />
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We had hiked 2 miles up Sentinel Dome to warm up and around 3pm the afternoon on the day before we decided to do the hike. We rushed back up to the campground to get there so we would have enough time to get some sleep. We still had to pack our bags and wrap up our campsite and get dinner before we could sleep. <br />
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I admit we were a bit rushed, understandably. Then in a hurry to get dinner going my dad was bust chopping wood when we hear a yell from my dad. We all turn and see my dad gripping his index finger having dropped the hatchet to do so. <br />
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Despite my apprehension, the first thought to go through my head was: "Shoot, the hike is over," the second was: "oh no dad's hurt."<br />
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It turns out he was okay, he had sliced a sizable flap of finger away but it was closed up by a few butterfly closures. We ate and went to bed.<br />
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We ended up getting some 2.5 hours of sleep. We then went hiking into the cold night into the scary forest.<br />
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I have to say that the night was beautiful and we saw a big buck (!).<br />
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The going in the dark was difficult but the fact was that we were only able to hike by a 5 foot circle of light. It was spooky but ultimately it made the hike much easier. It prevented us from looking up and seeing how much further we had to go. My two eldest brothers who had not prepared physically, said afterwards that they would have quit if we had gone in the daylight. It also meant that there were less people and the cables weren't crowded.<br />
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My dad and youngest brother made it to the top in time for the sunrise, I summitted an hour after they did (I lost a lot of gas on the cables, otherwise I had felt fantastic) my two eldest brothers some time after. They stuck it out, I have to say, but my eldest brother was pushing it. He ended up hitting the wall on the way down (I say this about him here, where 5 people might read about him, because he can easily crush me now).<br />
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All in all it was a profound experience all around. My dad got his wish, I developed a passion (and to a lesser extent my eldest brother) my brother from NC got a glimpse into understanding the will of God (sometimes he hides his will from us for a reason; sometimes we hike in a 5 foot circle of light because the massive extent of what is in out future would overwhelm us and cause us to give up) For my younger brother it was an uncomfortable outdoor situation that grew him. For three of us it was a call to get in shape which I am currently keeping up on (to a very minimal extent).<br />
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those of you who know me will understand how big a part of my life this has become. This one experience was the thing that gave me a reason to be well physically. It gave me an outlet for pent up energy. It became a goal to strive towards. Mountains constantly are a tool in which the Lord awes me instructs me and ministers to me.<br />
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J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-87361882340228023332010-11-22T18:01:00.000-08:002010-11-22T18:01:35.383-08:00Stopping to Smell the RosesStrange title...<br />
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So today one of my classes ended up praying for a staff member here on campus. The Spirit empowered folks and there were numerous scriptures, songs, and words of wisdom.<br />
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I'm sure there are those of you out there who think I'm mental or those of you who are respectfully Dispensationalist, Cessationalist, Atheist, Catharist and I know some of you would disagree with me strongly. Though in this prayer time I learned something, and I would very much like to share with you.<br />
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How to begin as always is the tricky issue. So naturally I'm going to go with what I know: hiking reference. :)<br />
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In life we have trials and hard times, some which are loads of fun, unremarkable and others that are absolutely abhorrent.<br />
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Hiking is very similar sometimes. With respect to the difficult times which God uses to grow us. In trials and difficulties we will mature (James 1:2), and God does this because he loves us. <br />
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But this man in particular expressed the feeling like God was kicking him around.<br />
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Through this trial I got the impression that this guy was rushing through this season of his life. When praying for him an image of the Merced River below El Capitan in Yosemite popped into my head and a connection was made.<br />
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Who doesn’t want a rough season in life to end quickly? Who doesn’t want to go from a middling season to a better one? Even in the good seasons we may blow on through because we either don’t realize the place we are in is good or we feel there is something better is ahead. We may even quit and give up because there is elsewhere we want to be.<br />
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Much in this way, people who hike long and hard and are breaking down. They are running out of steam just because they want to get the place they are at over with, or move on somewhere else<br />
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In truth this can actually break you down faster when hiking. You keep pushing you don’t stop to eat and nourish yourself; you don’t stop to clean yourself, to recharge. <br />
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We tend to have the mentality that these seasons are so bad that there is nothing here that will benefit us. <br />
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In the good seasons we don’t stop to enjoy and learn about the place we are in because we are expecting something better up ahead. We are so busy climbing a mountain that you don’t stop and take in the view.<br />
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In the rough and bad you move so fast that you don’t learn from your mistakes, or you don’t remember the way you came and you get lost in this bad place. Even the bad times can have their own beauty through the pain and suffering can bring insight and reveal beauty in ways unexpected.<br />
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We don’t value “stopping to smell the roses” so to speak.<br />
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In good times we don’t take it in, and be rested be comforted and we charge into a place where we don’t want to be and we are caught unawares because we are so wasted by the fast journey.<br />
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In middling times we don’t appreciate the balance or the beauty that is available to us.<br />
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In bad times we don’t learn, so we can’t warn others. We may even miss the beauty of how God brought us out of it.<br />
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As a day hiker I’m usually averted to stopping and just enjoying the place I’m at. I sometimes am mentally elsewhere so I quit or rush through the process because I’m not focused.<br />
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The best way I can describe this is the water dynamic. In hiking when you are in a mountain place or other wilderness you feel kind of disjointed from it even when you are in it because we set timeframes and hope to be out of there by a certain time. <br />
We are conscientious observers nothing else. <br />
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But when you stop and engage the place climb a rock you didn’t plan to climb take a break from a stream and drink from it soak your feet. You gain a sense of oneness and reality of the place you are in. You are no longer rushing through you are taking things in stride. It shows you that you are not above the situation.<br />
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This is something people who get lost fail to do. They are in denial and keep thinking the car the camp or whatever is just around the corner and they get themselves further away and they get to a place with no landmarks they feel that they are in control and they will figure stuff out.<br />
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As Christians it is of sorts a failure to trust God. <br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“God I’ve got this, I will persevere through this situation.” </i>Even “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I will dedicate myself to you, I will figure out a way.” </i><br />
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That is too many “I’s”. Ultimately it’s unscriptural (from the Greek perspective so many of the Greek words that indicate our salvation or our sanctification or our redemption are in the passive voice which indicates an inability on our behalf to do… well… like pretty much anything for our eternal benefit).<br />
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We transcend that which we are hopelessly immersed in. We fail to acknowledge our God-given limits (that’s right God limits us)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;)<br />
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We wonder why there are so many references in the Psalms to God as our spring, or spring of life, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>etc.<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In living dying let me bring, my strength and solace from the spring - Aaron Shust</i><br />
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Also at issue here is our thinking. I can’t tell you how many hikes, homework assignments and assorted obligations I’ve quit because I kept dwelling on where else I could be; or how much better another thing was. We see this dynamic kill us with regards to going to the gym ;) .<br />
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C. S. Lewis greatly adds to this:<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“A more Christian attitude, which can be attained at any age, is that of leaving futurity in God’s hands. We may as well, for God will certainly retain it whether we leave it to Him or not. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or happiness to the future. </b>Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment ‘as to the Lord.’” - C. S. Lewis "Learning in War-Time" </i><br />
The first time I ever thought that I would be able to hike over ten miles was when I threw aside my desire to be fast and decided to enjoy the process. I would get to the top at my own pace, which kindled a love for hiking that has burned in me since I was able to realize that it was feasible.<br />
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In these seasons we should not fail to recognize the beauty and value and lessons from trials in every season. We should not be above our situations and soberly judge our circumstances for the benefit of the kingdom and educating others to protect them from making the same mistakes. But simultaneously we must guard our minds and slow down to prevent burnout and be at peace. Lean on God and focus on tasks at hand.<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">Joseph Gregory</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">Selection from Lewis' book <em>"The Weight of Glory".</em></div><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 8pt;">Where breath reaches an impasse, the old-self dies and the new self is raised…</span></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-89773637335220628292010-11-20T16:45:00.000-08:002010-11-20T16:46:56.959-08:00DissonanceWell it's time to blog again, naturally because I have homework to do.<br />
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I guess the purpose of blogging goes beyond dropping crazy insight into complex issues that I am quickly learning all of the answers to. I guess it is just sharing in the humanity which is out lives. On that note I must ask myself: "What is going on in my life?"<br />
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The answer in plain-speak is I'm doing fine. There so if you are bored and have to do others things feel free to go. <br />
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The real answer is a bit of a double-edged sword. Adulthood is happening (0.o) after over a year of a very dry period of my journey with God he has begun a process of softening my heart and simultaneously hardening my resolve (in him). This has been a season where I have begun to draw near but it is much like warming yourself with a campfire; I have been out in the cold which has caused me to bulk up with more layers but still not getting the warmth I need. Now I have a fire but as I draw nearer the heat is turning up and I have to shed some layers to get closer to this heat which is keeping me alive.<br />
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Much in this way His holiness and my sin are frequently coming to an impasse (HA! That is half of the name of the blog!). There is much love and growth but there is a lot of conviction about my behavior, (which, for a time, I had began to accept as core to who I was) how I though about things, how I have been treating God, and others through this (for a great resource on this check out C. S. Lewis' essay "The Weight of Glory") and the need to confess my sin and repent.<br />
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This last one has been the biggest point of contention for mw. For the most part I have considered myself a person who didn't care what other's thought about me. I have a very off-beat sense of humor and as a teenager (and still to this day) I like (d) getting attention good and sometimes even negative attention. But as the Lord began to convict of particular things I have done in the past (that could have serious ramifications on my current and future life in ministry) I began to realize startling truths about myself.<br />
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Until about a month ago there was one sin that I had never told anyone because I was so ashamed; and one month ago if you had asked me about confessing any un-confessed sins I would have been honest and told you there was one and I would have quickly qualified that statement by saying, "But I will never tell anyone what I did."<br />
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This past month a series of Chapel messages at my school were given on the situation surrounding the Ted Haggard fiasco. (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard"><span style="color: purple;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard</span></a>) And seeing the negative effects sin could have on people in ministry and all those who were under their leadership, ultimately shocked me. I had always realized the influence church leaders have in their congregations but as I was sitting in Chapel I realized that despite my own assurances I am just as capable of committing every sin as any other person. I also realized that through keeping that sin cooped up inside it will rip a person to shreds.<br />
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By no stretch of the imagination was it difficult for me to keep the secret that I had but the effects it would have on me later in life and just the fact that I could only begin the healing process was through confession. I also knew that I needed to face the consequences and in whatever way right the wrong which I had done.<br />
<div style="tab-stops: right 6.5in;"> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>I cannot express in words how difficult my struggle with myself was.<br />
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I couldn't understand why. As I prayed and thought about it I realized that I cared too much about what people thought of me. The way I thought about what I had done was very clear in my head (by the way I just was able to confess to a close friend last night so I’m not quite ready to air out my dirty laundry just yet) but the way I would clearly express in words what I had done conveyed me as a truly evil person and I couldn’t reconcile that with myself.<br />
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Even through numerous offers by a dear friend to talk about it judgment free, I couldn't bring myself to do it. In truth I knew how I had to start but I knew that I could just stop at the telling.<br />
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But by the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God I was given the opportunity and the courage to seize it a chance to confess. I won’t lie those have been the hardest words I have ever uttered. She was kind and listened and didn’t pretend to know the answers.<br />
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I still don’t have the answers, I still need to pray and to seek counsel on how to repent and make right to the best of my Christian ability the wrong I have committed. It doesn’t stop here. But I am encouraged, because after the tears, and the turmoil roiling inside me with a sin that had been eating away at me for 7 years, a trespass against His creation, the King greeted my filth with <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>abundant peace.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Psalms 32</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Blessed Are the Forgiven</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">A Maskil of David.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">1</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. <sup>2</sup> Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">3</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. <sup>4</sup> For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">Selah</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">5</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">Selah</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">6</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">7</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">Selah</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">8</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.<sup>9 </sup>Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;">10</span></sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt;"> Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.<sup>11</sup> Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 5;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br />
</span></div>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-56251065251988317402010-11-04T21:59:00.000-07:002010-11-04T21:59:19.212-07:00Christ: My Only Joy, My Only Hope<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Living the life of a disciple is hard work. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I've been in the church twenty years, ever since I was born, and I have been blessed to go through many blessed seasons and many hard seasons. By no means is my life one of drama nor was I in the eyes of the world, the great sinner whom God radically transformed in a short period of time. I had always seen my life as very plain I realize that I had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but it was never a very apparent thing. It has been a very slow course where God has been showing me how deprave I am. How disparate my situation was and how immense his love truly is. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Though through my seasons of faith I have began to grow and understand the things of Him. Just reflecting on my life I remember the different times and things God taught me. I remember as a kid I slowly began to love God. The first thing that drew me to him was worship. I would sing and pray and his Spirit would draw me in woo me, so to speak. I was an emotional worshiper and even though a few times it might have been at my own conjuring but there were other times which He revealed himself.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The next aspect of God that gave me hope was the Spirit, when I was 10 it hit me in a burst of illumination and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God was real. I ran up to the front during worship in tears and fell on my face KNOWING that I needed him. I was prayed for later that night and I received the Holy Spirit. For a while after that I was operating in the empowerment of his Spirit and my hope was renewed.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then came a dark time for me, in retrospect it was insignificant and I overreacted to what I misinterpreted as love (at 15!) naturally for the old self, I ran and I just wanted to be angry and feel unloved. Then his scripture kept me going. The very girl I so convinced myself whom I loved gave me a scripture years before and ironically it got me through the aftermath of my immaturity: </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Is. 41:8-10 <i> </i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off"; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - ESV</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was like God knew I would be selfish. Though I was neglecting my duty as a disciple his love and beckoning brought me back to a community of people loved me through my own self-disdain and his Body began to be my comfort and hope.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But as I came back to him his calling kept me going. At his urging I decided to for go my own desires for my life. His promises and will have thus carried me through 2 1/2 years of Bible College. Even through some incredibly stressful times. Through my arrogance with the small amount of knowledge he himself gave to me.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But lately I've become increasingly aware of Christ. to think through 10 years of Christianity not once was Christ and him crucified been my focus and my hope. The very cornerstone and head of the Church had never really hit home. Over the past year Christ has grown on my mind and my heart. The word says that christ is our joy and our hope and I took him for granted.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It has been very enlightening to see how our culture portrays Jesus. As a guy, as a lie, as a good moral teacher and as a homeboy. I want to explain Christ a little bit, I want to talk about these portrayals.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">What about us being friends with Jesus... Doesn't that mean Jesus is my homeboy? Yes, Scripture says that we are counted as friends but read the coming scriptures, and read Revelation 1, John saw Jesus in partial glory and fell down as if dead, and he was an apostle who has experienced salvation! So remember Jesus has called us friend, but he is Sovereign Lord and King, work out your faith with reverence, for the King out of duty and even more so, out of gratitude.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span> </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well I don't know about that. Jesus was just a good moral teacher...</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span> </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">C.S. Lewis: take it away...</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span> </div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"We may note in passing that He [Jesus] was never regarded as a mere moral teacher. He did not produce that effect on any of the people who actually met him. He produced mainly three effects—Hatred—Terror—Adoration. There was no trace of people expressing mild approval." <span style="color: #800040;">C.S. Lewis, "What Are We to Make of Jesus Christ?" (1950) </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"What kind of good teacher spoke in parables that no one understood?" Pastor Damian Kinsella (thanks PDK!)</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well what about Jesus as a lie? (Well that is a blog for another day). What do we think of Christ now? I know this blog is already lengthy but here is some scripture. These scriptures are heavy and their implications are far reaching but I only want to demonstrate why Christ is our hope. I'm sure there are holes in my theology and I know I will not adequately do justice to these passages. "God may my own agenda fall by the wayside and only your word ring true."</span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Colossians 1:11-23<span style="background-color: yellow;"></span> <i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i style="background-color: white;">"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved <u><b>Son,</b></u> in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. <u><b>He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.</b></u> And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister." - ESV</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Philippians 2:5-11 </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, <u>but made himself nothing</u>, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, <u>he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross</u>. <u>Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.</u>" - ESV </i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Eph 1:15 - 2:10</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, <u>may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, </u>having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, <u>that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, </u>what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in <u>Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.</u>" </i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>2:1 "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - ESV</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Jesus was God. Simply put, but out of fear for misinterpretation I'll expound :) . Jesus was God, He was in the image of him but in him the entirety of God dwelled. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In what some theologians call the Great Parabola, Philippians illustrates: Jesus was the highest of highs, although he was God he did not count himself God(that doesn't me he didn't know his deity, or that he rejected it, but he chose to humble himself) and humbled himself, not only to humanity but out of obedience to the Father he was humbled to the point of death. Not just any death, he died the most gruesome of deaths. Being at the lowest of the lows, God, through the glory of the Father (Rom 6:4) raised Christ from the dead, that we who choose to believe might be saved though faith, which is a gift. And from the dead Christ was raised, and the Father exalted him to make his name greatest and put him above all. In him death has lost it's power, Jesus wasn't simply taken in death and now those who call on him won't have to die. Jesus' dying was a seizure of death itself, it no longer has any power over those who he (Christ) calls his own.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When we who rebelled against the Father, from whom we were given life. Christ king of all forsook his glory to save us... Why? Because he loves us. He did not count us as so un-valuable as to cast us away. He who ascribes all value still found us valuable.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Selah...</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now he who is Christ Jesus, is put over all, that one day every knee will bow and tongue confess that he is God. Why is this significant? He is Christ who is in glory, he is sovereign King, but he is still the one whom the Father sent out of love, and out of love he came. Never forget that The sovereign God of the universe is for us, He loved us in humility and facing death on the cross by our hands, and loves us even in his Sovereign Lordship. All we have to do is believe in him, (something we can't even do on out own!) not that we are to stop in our pursuit of Him after salvation, the work is not done yet... ;)</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> <span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Selah...</i></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i></i>More than that! If we have believe we have died with Christ, so we will live with him also (Rom. 6:5-10)! We have an inheritance with him! What's better, we don't yet have that inheritance but until that we have his Spirit, which is comforter, teacher, counselor, anointer, sustainer, and empowerer that we might be comforted, taught, counseled, anointed, sustained, and empowered so we can go and tell the world so that they might know Christ as well. (The Holy Spirit is the most awesome Swiss Army Knife ever, and He never breaks, and keeps on giving. Way better than a Mac (=P))</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Since we live with him we should also live like he did, as the perfect example of obedience to the Father. After all we are <i>created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. </i>(Eph 2:10). The true love of Christ does not enable us to sin, it compels us to complete obedience, but this obedience is not with out joy nor is it easy. <b>The truth is we face the retribution of our sin, an eternity of torment.</b> But in Christ we are no longer on that path, our sins are not counted against us.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Christ is our everything. Not so we can neglect other tenets of the faith, but that we might be fully changed from our old ways but to be more like Christ. How I had gone so long and not acknowledged him still astounds me. If anything I hope these words will give you hope and a better understanding of Christ, if you are already saved; or if you are not, that you might realize the great sacrifice and the immense love which is for you from Christ and how much you need him.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Before I get back to the business end of a 10 page research paper I want to pray.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"Christ we need you greater than we need life, Thank you for your love and the death which you died. Let us not take you for granted</i>, <i>and take with the proper respect your sacrifice to heart. May we continue in our growth and our knowledge of you, growing in boldness to proclaim your word. Your will be done. Amen (Oi)</i>"</span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><u><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Where breath is at an impasse, the old self dies and the new self is raised"</span></i></u></div><br />
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<span style="color: #800040;"></span>J Joshua Gregoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04373205313775209368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-384405959950979441.post-61550014982356353622010-10-28T16:31:00.000-07:002010-10-28T16:31:17.347-07:00Some of What I Do<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUc4gKldTfupUSQDkbIGt0IG9AQjMeZTGhMW5n1SqxWfNxZaiNlJOICa7aa-grL9nPgTQoJLX9hkmVDQ5RSspYLXH-XAAG4wQCJ4dD_OT7mSLbUjzIh7gt19e5HDpdNb7AhfhDPpMs/s1600/Copy+of+IMG_2465.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUc4gKldTfupUSQDkbIGt0IG9AQjMeZTGhMW5n1SqxWfNxZaiNlJOICa7aa-grL9nPgTQoJLX9hkmVDQ5RSspYLXH-XAAG4wQCJ4dD_OT7mSLbUjzIh7gt19e5HDpdNb7AhfhDPpMs/s320/Copy+of+IMG_2465.JPG" width="213" /></a></div><br />
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